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19 April 2012

Reader Question - Filofax/Stationery 'Obsession'

A very interesting question from Sirpa-Kaarina in the last Free For All Friday...
A Filofax question: How do your hubbies / partners feel about your passion for Filofax organisers and stationery?
As Nan observed: 
Wow...this one could use a post of its own.
So here it is..... I can see people scurrying to change their user names before responding!!  Honest answers please...

60 comments:

  1. My name is Plannerisms, I mean Laurie! And, well, I like planners. A lot.

    In fact, my husband has said more than once that he wishes he were a planner or Filofax, because he would get a lot more attention than he currently does! Ouch!

    But overall, he is happy for me that I've found something I enjoy so much. I think my planner online community has done a lot to keep me sane and help me feel connected to the world during these many years of living overseas when I otherwise would feel very isolated.

    So, mixed bag here!

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    1. When I first joined the community my husband thought we were all nuts. But I pointed out that if I didn't have you all, he'd be the one I'd discuss my obsession with. From that point on he was grateful that I had found all of you and he leaves me alone about it now. ;)

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  2. My friends and family think I am relatively strange being so obsessed with Filofaxes. I got my first when I was a student (aged 18) and all my friends laughed at me. However, 10 years later I still use and love Filofaxes. But when we meet they always ask "where's your Filofax" as if I might have suddenly snapped out of it. I guess that's partly why I love Philofaxy - because I feel accepted (if somewhat enabled) here. :)

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  3. My other half doesn't understand my love for Filofax. In fact when I told him last year I was going to London for the Philofaxy meet up he laughed uncontrollably. He laughed even more when telling other people why I was going.
    We went away to York for a couple of days and whilst browsing Filofax sections in shops I was met with mr sarcasm. "oh look it's a Filofax, oh look it's yet another Filofax". He may may laugh at my passion for Filofax, I don't joke at things that interest interest him I just carry on with my love.
    My family and friends think I'm strange too. I will quite happily talk to anyone about the advantages and disadvantages of a particular Filofax, whilst their eyes glaze over.
    :)

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  4. I just asked my hubby the question & he said, "Hmmm, it's hardly a harmful passion, is it?" I've found other people & friends find it more amusing! I'm definitely more of a browser than a purchaser, so I don't actually own that much stationery & only have two filofaxes (will be getting down to one). Both my sister & Dad love stationery too & Dad now has a Winchester I gifted to him :)

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  5. I find that having a bigger elephant in the room helps a lot.

    As a player of role-play & boardgames a lot of the comments are pointed in that geeky direction, so I can get way with my Filofax obsession as it looks quite normal. Still forking out the £70 for a A5 Kendal was a achievement I'm quite proud of...

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  6. My husband and daughter think I am a complete nutter and cannot understand my obsession with Filofaxes. I have had the same kind of response as Icclewu (above). I don’t have the same obsession with stationary in general, just Filofaxes. Come to think of it, I can’t fully understand it myself but I was bitten by the Filofax bug in 1986 and have not been without one since. Admittedly I only used to have one and use it until it was due for retirement but since finding Philofaxy I have been enabled and now have quite a collection. When I first found Philofaxy I breathed a sigh of relief, see, there are others out there like me who love their Filofaxes, it made me feel 'normal'. My sister thinks I am in some weird 80's time warp but I gave her a pocket Fresco and she loves it because of its retro appeal. ;) I have in fact given Filofaxes as birthday and Christmas presents over the past couple of years and managed to get others hooked on them as well.

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    1. Buying Filofaxes as presents, great idea!

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  7. My boyfriend had no opinion about it until I got Temperley The Affair. It was then that him and his best friend (who's also one of my good friends, incidentally) started lusting over it! So I think I've somewhat converted them to the Filofax brand though whether or not the fact he likes a lacey Filofax is either a worrying thing or a hint is another question!

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  8. My husband thinks I'm completely bonkers. :-D
    But he's really not a stationary person and rarely writes a list.
    He is a spontaneous person and doesn't really like planning.

    But he has an iphone and an ipad, so I'm certainly allowed more than one Filofax.

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  9. My original boyfriend thought it was good and that I should keep all my filofaxes, but he got annoyed at me going on about them ALL THE TIME!!!

    And all the guys I have met since have found my obsession cute!!!

    When I finally get a boyfriend, HE SHALL USE A FILOFAX, even if he does not want too :p x

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  10. My husbands rolls his eyes. He has no interest in writing anything down (remember cheques? well I had to write them all for him and he would just sign them!). He is the classic left hander who they tried to force to write right handed - and he still hates writing now! Mind you he hates typing as well so I guess dexterity passed him by :-)

    He tends to be somewhat indulgent but would rather I spend my money/time on something shared! I do have a fascination for all things stationery which can make it even more of a problem. Thankfully he doesn't always 'notice' the amount of stuff I have tucked away ...

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  11. One of the nice things about the internet is discovering that other people like the same things I do!

    My husband thinks I am a little eccentric writing blogposts about my Filofaxes but he doesn't really mind. Although I think he would mind if I started spending a lot of money on this and/or bought another one. (So far I've bought one discounted Filofax from TK Maxx and one second hand Filofax from eBay)

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  12. I think my boyfriend really doesn't reflect over it, honestly. Now, it should be said, stationary is more of an interest than a true obsession of mine. I love nice pens, and good quality paper, and of course my Metropol Filofax (of course it is no supple leather, but it holds up wonderfully to being abused). But I am not obsessed.

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  13. My boyfriend doesn't mind. As Laurie said, he's happy i have a 'passion', even though it is stationary... We both spend as much time and money towards our hobbies(his being photography), so there's no problem there. We both roll our eyes when the other talks about it (really, he can talk for hours about one particular lens... then i can talk for hours about the merits of one Filo over another :) )
    Our family and friends react quite the same way, even though more people are interested in his pictures than in my binders!

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  14. My boyfriend is happy to see me happy. And I'm happiest while standing in stationary shop. He's got the same with photography and rally cars.
    But must admit, it was quite a relief to find Philofaxy few years ago and see that I`m not alone :o)

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  15. My husband is smiling amusedly about my Filofax passion or my stationary love. As katka said, he is happy to see me happy or to see my joy.
    And as a matter of fact: He´s been infected, he himself owns two Filofaxes at the moment! ;-) (Ok, he´s not as obsessed than me...but that doesn´t matter...)

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  16. My family glazes over when I start waxing on about filofaxes, stationary, pencils...

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  17. I do not allow myself to obsess over anything. Then one fine day I woke up and said “I love my filofax”. It hit my husband real bad – forget the spending money part (I want the Finchley in all possible colours!!), it was the constant talk about set-up, size, leather, colour and stickers that bugged him no end. Now he takes an interest because he has no other choice. Poor Man! Oh by the way – He finds it interesting that I have found something passionate to do.

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  18. My friends and family gave up on me long ago. I am obsessed with all things stationery and proudly own over 100 notebooks/journals, 5 filos, and an assortment of planners. Fountain pens are part of the obsession as well. As long as it stays in the family (or close friends)I'm safe, but recently my two 8-year-olds told their teacher that I have "millions of notebooks," and I had some explaining to do so the teacher didn't think I was a "hoarder." Her eyes did glaze over when I started talking about the merits of different kinds of paper.

    But, I'm a proud mama when we visit Sam Flax and my little ones excitedly point out Rhodias or Moleskines or Lamy Safari fountain pens and I see people stare at them in amazement.

    My grown kids always find cute journals and notebooks for me when they go on trips, so I guess you could say that they enable me somewhat.

    I give journals/notebooks/filos as gifts as well. Friends always know they will get something stationery-related from me. And, visitors to my home are always treated to a small notebook from the collection. I have a box of them just for giving and always offer to let guests pick one. I even keep a small supply of inexpensive, but cute, kid's notebooks on hand to give out to the our little guests.

    I'm a bit off but there could certainly be worse addictions out there, so I happily work to achieve stationery nirvana.

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  19. My mum thinks I'm mad. I don't tell her when I've bought a new one now so I don't get an ear full! But she has always known I love stationary, and she knows that once I make my mind up I don't stop spending my money on things I love! But it's not as bad as some of the things my parents spend money on... my dad loves coats and watches, and smokes (money up in flames!!), and my mum buys shoes shoes and more shoes! Not to mention moving house every few years!! When I told my mum about my blog, and how much I love talking about Filofaxes on there, she was unenthusiastic, and I think it just added to how "quirky" she thinks I am- then I told her about the visitor stats, and she was quietly very impressed! I've not managed to turn my family onto Filofaxes yet- I gave my brother the Apex I won, but I don't think he has used it yet. My mum uses a tiny little old diary to write to-dos in, it's falling apart and held together by an elastic band! But I have always loved stationary, and always will- I'm just glad I have a hobby, unlike my parents, who get bored easily because they have no hobbies :(

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  20. My boyfriend thinks I'm absolutely ridiculous. I sent him to pick up a Filofax that I had on hold and didn't tell him the price because I knew he would get mad. He sent me a text from the store and said, "$95?? You are INSANE" and was definitely mad at me when he returned home. So I just hide the prices from him! Haha.

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    Replies
    1. Only buy them cheaply from ebay and then they find it harder to complain, especially if you resell (and make a profit) most of them after owning for a few years.

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  21. My husband doesn't really fuss either way, but he does wonder why I need more than one! My filofax obsession does tend to get engulfed by my bigger, more general stationery obsession though!

    Fortunately I have my own office, he works all day and I'm at home all day! So I can usually squirrel away any new purchases before he spots them! :D

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  22. I think the overriding good thing here is that it is good to have a hobby that hurts no-one - no matter what it is! Like TPS stated - you can get bored without a hobby! I've recently taken an interest in sewing (and particularly quilting/patchwork) and my husband is busy rolling his eyes at the library books coming in the door! I suppose it would be nice to have a filofax devoted to my sewing .....

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    1. If he complains just ask if he'd rather you buy the books.

      Have you thought of making a patchwork organiser?

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    2. You joke, I was afraid of damaging my first leather Filofax so within hours of buying it I'd made it an absolutely gorgeous organic cotton patchwork slip cover that matches so it looks pretty!!!!

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    3. He He - who would have thought - a patchwork cover!

      I love perusing the library books, then I just buy anything that I don't think I can live without - saves a fortune. With most of these books (and recipe books as well) there are often over a few pages of particular interest and these can easily be copied out as notes into a relevant binder or notebook.

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  23. My husband initially couldn't understand my obsession and still cannot believe how many I filos I currently own. However, he asked me to set a personal size filo up for him to use at work and is now never without it. I sacrificed my Tanner Krolle Black personal size to him. Incidentally, I began to use an A5 at work in 2010, and was the only one to take it to management meetings. By the time I took early retirement at the end of 2011, 5 other managers were using A5 filos.

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  24. I think my fiance is pretty much numb to my love of Filos. Fortunately, I only have two Filos, so he can't be too upset about the cost or collection. But it doesn't stop him (and most of my friends and family) for ridiculing me mercilessly for my Malden love.

    Now stationery is a whole other animal- mainly because I am not simply content in purchasing it. No, I have to make my own, and so I've ventured into sticker making, paper making, embossing, stamping, typography etc. He just laughs at me every time a new craft method finds its way into our apartment. But hey, he has his bourbon and cigars, I have my paper and stickers. Seems fair, right?

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    1. J, I am a bit of a sticker lover at heart. I'd be really interested to know how you make your own and what types you have made. That sounds like a fabulous idea.
      I am not in a relationship at the moment, so I can indulge my love of Filofaxes as a hobby and their computer insert designs to my heart's content. Bliss!

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  25. You all sound relatively healthy compared to me. Filofax is definitely an obsession of mine (owning 75+), which my husband does know about. However, how many Filofaxes can ONE person really use?! So, I'm now going to focus on the Filofax community through Philofaxy and once a year inserts. I'm not saying I'll NEVER buy another Filo, but I think it will have to be a special occasion or in the event of me selling one or two to make room for the new one. This has become quite the expensive hobby,,,,,,I also LOVE all kinds of stationery, but especially the really nice kind that has the lined envelopes (like Crane). But again, how many people can I write notes to????

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    1. So what is the total these days?

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    2. Wow, sounds like an amazing collection! Would love to see some pictures & wonder how you store them all :)

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    3. Well this was it in August 2010...

      http://philofaxy.blogspot.com/2010/08/photographic-proof.html

      Steve

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    4. Fabulous pic!!! That is quite a collection :o)

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  26. I love this post! It reinforces the fact that I am definately not alone in the world of such passions. At first my boyfriend and family thought I was crazy I couldn't contain my excitement when my Malden arrived I continuously expressed my love for Filofax and they all called me weird! I think I got the strangest reaction at work when I thought it would be a good idea to tell everyone in extent detail what was so beautiful about owning a Filofax, they were all quite shocked to hear such a passion, luckily I have my world of fellow philofaxy's to share my love with. My boyfriend collects and builds classic cars so he can't mention the expense as I always bring up his "hobby" to even it out! he does however hate when we go shopping particularly when we are in paperchase or WHS smith where he gets short tempered when he's asking if we can leave 3 hours later :0

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  27. My husband thinks I'm crackers, but I've just actually asked him the question above and his response was . . . "*sigh*. Whatever makes you happy!" Bless him.

    He actually has no idea that I have a blog (http://allthingsstationery.blogspot.co.uk/); neither do any of my friends or family actually. I thought it would only reinforce their opinion that I'm crackers!!! So it's my guilty secret that I only share with you fellow nutters.

    But yes I do love stationery and always have done. When I was quite young and all my friends wanted to go to toy shops, I would wander around stationery shops and buy pencil cases, erasers, rulers, pencils, pens, notepads etc etc. I got my first Filofax about 17 years ago and I now have 10 I think (sshhhhh!).

    It's very reassuring to know that I'm not the only stationery geek in town!

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    1. You're blog is lovely, you should share. I understand how you feel though. I didn't want anyone I knew to see my blog, but now I just stick a link on my Facebook status when I have posted and they can all read it or choose not to. :o)

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  28. I think my husband is quite oblivious to my Filofax collection. I have always been a stationery freak and have stacks of notebooks in my office closet. He has always known me to have "my book" - be it a ringed binder or a bound notebook. The past year or so, it has been Filofaxes. He hasn't got a clue what they cost or how many I have. He may notice them changing but he generally doesn't comment and doesn't care.

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  29. If you have a partner that simply doesn't get the Filofax vibe, secretly buy a binder that you know will remind them of you, fill it with 365 dated messages that are oh so very clearly for their eyes only, choose a significant day to bestow this precious token of your love, and then just relax while you receive a little Filofax empathy.

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  30. When I'm talking hyper-enthusiastically about Filofax, the ones I own, how I use them, or how I could change my setup, or whatever, I really love the look my boyfriend gives me and the little smile he has : I interpret this as "he's finding it adorable that I am happy about such simple things, some binders, and some seriously obsessed people who organize their live in so many different ways" :)

    Imagine what he'll endure tomorrow, as I will tell him how I spent my evening playing with the two new Filofaxes I've just received today from Sweden, the Journey and the Pennybridge :)

    Oh and, Neil ? I really like this idea, thanks for it ! That goes straight to my "gift ideas" list. And it happens I have a spare Filofax I might not use anymore, due to the two new arrivals :)

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  31. My husband thought I was crazy for lusting after the Personal Finchley. I found one on eBay for only $50 -- which he still thought was a silly amount to spend on a planner. BUT - he was using a Pocket Graphic that I did not use and he's been begging me to make him more inserts since he ran out.. so maybe I'm getting him addicted too!

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  32. My daughter gets me. We actually 'pimped' her filofax last weekend and she raided my stash. She said she loved that it now functions better because it's more organized and customized for her.

    My husband just says 'write this in your filofax'. He has an unpaid secretary in me. (Fine with me as long as he doesn't bother me about them, ha ha.)

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  33. My husband honestly thinks they are a bit of a waste of money, since more than half of the ones I have ever had, have had ring issues. Other than that, he seems fine with it. My kids are all too young to care lol.

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  34. I take more criticism about pen shopping than I do about planner shopping. Planners are pretty, but to my friends, "a pen is a pen".

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  35. No-one's ever had a problem with me liking Filofaxes, stationery, etc: the bit where I'll stay up until 4am finding the perfect image or making the perfect template for a divider, printing it, covering it meticulously in clear film, cutting it out S-L-O-W-L-Y and carefully - then re-doing the whole thing tinted 2 points more towards Red in Photoshop... not always so popular!

    But my basic personality leans towards obsessive/focused, and if someone gets past that enough to be in my life, me spending money on what is really an obsessive's dream toy isn't really likely to cause any waves.

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  36. My stationary obsession was reignited by my first Filofax purchase last year. Then I got 10 within a year! Not to mention all kinds of accessories and "exploring" new notebooks... DH was mostly amused by this, and sometimes slightly alarmed. But he himself got TWO filofaxes out of it, so he can't complain too much. An elegant portable black Italian leather personal-sized Filo replaced his cheap PU generic bulky A5 binder. So my strategy is- drag them down with you if you can! :)

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  37. Ah, Steve,,,,,,did you have to dig that photo out of the archives?! Right now they are stored mostly on my shelves in my office and some wonderful gray tubs that my dear hubby gets for me,,,,my hubby is a trooper in that he puts up with this obsession, but no more purchasing for me for a LONG while.

    Maybe he will weigh in with his own comments,,,,,,

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  38. As with many others, friends and family don't understand the obsession. They think it's very odd and don't get it. I am usually the one who has to point out that it's not harmful and no different from any other passion/hobby out there.

    As for my husband, while he doesn't "get it," he's supportive in that he tries to offer suggestions and solutions when I'm having planner issues. Unfortunately, as I said above, he doesn't "get it," so his suggestions are rarely taken since they don't solve my problems. Where his support ends is mu purchasing a whole bunch of planners, because "you don't need them and how can you use more than one at a time anyway?" See - he just doesn't "get it."

    He attended the first NYC meet up with me. He was bored to tears. The second one, he came with me but did his own thing while the rest of us geeked out. For the upcoming third one, his response was "have fun." I guess he won't be joining me this time...

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  39. My partner doesn't undertsand why I need so many Filofaxes, but my argument is that when my collection comes to the value of his cheapest bass guitar (I think he has 4 pr 5), then he can maybe bring up the issue. By which point I'll be saying that when the value of my collection is as much as his most expensive one he can ask questions :o)

    To be fair, he pays little or no attention to them. My boys on the other hand love them :-)

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  40. My wife openly tells me (and others) that I'm 'a stationery geek' - but then she is a level 60+ World of Warcraft gamer......:) we get along just fine.....

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    1. My husband's also into WoW... with one level 85 character, I think :)

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  41. Think of the fun you could have over two days here:

    http://stationeryshow.co.uk/

    Filofax don't have a stand though... but Lord Dodo will be there....

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  42. I don't tell my boyfriend.. he knows I have a filofax and appreciates me being able to schedule both our lives but I don't tell him that I go on here... I'm actually quite embarrassed by it... I don't want to become one of those people that spends more time messing with their filo than actually doing the things they write in it!

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  43. My hubby has always approached my obsession with a sense of humor. It was he, in fact, who gave me the nickname "Inky," since I always seemed to be cleaning and re-inking fountain pens when he came home from work. He also teases me about FLYlady...every time one of us does something around the house, he cries, "Who's FLY??"

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  44. Who needs tablets and smartphones when you have Filofax!! :) Thanks for linking to my blog. Thanks to you I gained more hits :) Thanks! I will write another Filo blog post again soon :)

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